Thoughts from an Overcomer, still Overcoming.

1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Todays post is a little different to others, I'm going to be a bit more open, raw and tell you a little bit more about me and my story. I hope you enjoy learning a little bit more about me, but most of all I pray that the scripture above can become more real to you in whatever you're going through in your life.

Cast your anxieties on to Him, sounds easy right? I've herd this many times over growing up in church but I have to say has only really become real to me in the last few years. I always thought, 'yeah I tell God all my problems, I'm not hanging on to any sort of stress or worry' but in reality my worries ruled in my mind more than I thought.

When I was 17 from very unfortunate circumstances my Nana and Sister passed away within about 5 weeks of each other. My sister who was 7 years older than me had been suffering with a rare autoimmune disease for about 4 years, in an out of long stints hospital. She passed away very unexpectantly in hospital in the August of 2012. To give a bit of context, I was in my last year of high school, and my mum and dad would do a swap caring for my sister full time at the hospital during the week to come home and look after me. As you can see it wasn't your average upbringing as you could say, but my parents really did all they could to make sure we had the best life we could at the time.

After all this happened, I still had a faith in God, I still believed he existed and could do miracles; but I sort of just let go of trying to seek him. I remember basically saying to myself at the time "I just need to put my head down and finish school, then I'll deal with this" after that I pretty much bottled up all my feelings about what had happened, except for an outburst on occasion if something happened and hit a nerve. It ended up with me bottling my feelings up for too long; I found I faked my way through most things, I pretended I was happy and ok. I then got to a point when I couldn't handle it anymore, I knew I had stuff to deal with, I was lucky enough that I found a mentor at my church and finally began to open up.

I began to really change at this point, I turned back to God and started running after him again. I thought my problems were gone, and that I would never wake up feeling unhappy again. I carried on this way again for a while still thinking I was healed from my past and I thinking I must have been falling back into old feelings. All the time God wanted me to seek him more about the pain of my past, there was certain things that happened back there that I was still keeping bottled. Not that my mentor didn't help, it started my on my journey to overcoming, I was just misconceived for a while and didn't carry on with what I had been told because I thought I was done, I was okay now.

One day when I opened up to my mum about still feeling upset about things of the past, I was crying, she showed me this scripture:

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

I remember reading this and just sobbing even more, I realised God ACTUALLY cares about me and what has happened to me. He wants to heal me and wipe every tear away, I'm going to find the peace my heart has been searching for. It was then I realised our healing doesn't just happen in one instance; It takes time, but it takes persistence.

Our healing happens when we consistently go back to God, telling him about your anxieties and worries. He is the one that give us peace, he wipes away our tears and most of all he CARES for us. Don't get me wrong in this post, I'm not looking for a pity party to cry to about my past to, nor am I preaching to you that you will never be healed. What I'm saying is we're all overcomers, but it's okay that we're still overcoming.

Next time you feel upset, talk to God; he's the one that will listen and care for you in your worst. Constantly talk to him, about anything; He will heal your broken heart. It's okay to not feel okay, you don't have to pretend when your spending time with the creator.

I know there wasn't a tonne of practical tips in this post of "how" to overcome your past, but the one thing I know about overcoming is this, consistently seek him about everything in your life and you will get the peace you're looking for.

I'll leave you with this scripture to study for yourself, Psalm 85:8, It talks about how God promises us peace.

Talk Soon,

Kristina xx.

#fath #overcoming #mystory